5 t0 A: h! _: V5 a) A' V1 @Many people feel that moral education is the infrastructure of higher learning. (许多人认为道德教育是高等知识的基础) (如果用 foundation 或 basis 代替 infrastructure 就更明白)7 B# R% h9 ]! p6 H3 ^% _) \
( c, q4 j8 N+ u3 Z: E# k oThree hundred acres of land is the parameter of our university，s expansion (growth). (三百英亩的土地是本大学发展的限度) (如果用limit代替parameter，会更简单易懂。) ) P/ `; E3 i& I+ r " N- r Z# t$ z) a8 [7 R: FThis news has been disseminated all over the U.S. (这消息已散布到全美各地) (如果用spread取代disseminated，不更简单？) (动词时态是：spread, spread, spread)+ F( V8 ^' K0 k$ h
8 T; v: I) P% P2 o0 n1 QThe president of this college is not diminutive in size. (这大学的校长个子不小) (假如用small代替diminutive，不更明白吗？)& L$ K; D: p5 }: b' b
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I have to elucidate this document to my staff. (我要向我的员工解释这份文件) (如用explain代替elucidate，也许更明白。) " o( E' z! ~4 G% ^1 I. N+ p " d. `1 u; g9 _, yMr. A will endeavor to be a physician. (A 先生想尝试当个医生) (如果用try代替endeavor，会更浅白。) (endeavour = endeavor) & p9 @" N% r. j" F3 _6 T9 w4 y; ]- U% u' b; @6 T0 D! Y
We hope to visualize world peace in the future. (我们希望将来看到世界和平)（如果用see代替visualize，也许更简单！） 2 P7 P1 k( q }+ W9 U* W( r' {% C! [+ t
The charitable organization solicits for our annual donation. (慈善机构要求我们一年一度乐捐)（假如用 ask 代替 solicit，更浅白易懂。）(solicitation是名词) ( ~, \ P1 I5 g, e! U- ~$ ?& f4 V9 @$ i# Z
We don't know what may transpire when we have a new boss. (当新老板来后，我们不知会有什么发生。) (如果用happen代替transpire，也许更明白。)" R, i: R. g( P9 F
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Please act as soon as possible on the aforementioned matter. (前面提过的事，请尽速办理。）(如果用 previous 代替古字 aforementioned 不是更明白？）# `$ I6 W3 H7 I" D n
8 p1 b: ?& t) F7 A1 x" f这就像美国大文豪马克吐温 Mark Twain 也曾说过：「我不愿在字典里找长字或难字，我绝不用『metropolis』这个字，因为我同样可以用『city』这个字来代替」。罗斯福总统为了强调美国政府不会遗忘那些穷人，在一篇讲词里用了这么一句：「We are endeavoring to construct a more inclusive society.」后来被人批评咬文嚼字，卖弄文笔。如果用浅白易懂的字眼写成：「We are going to make this country in which no one is left out.」或「We are trying to make everyone equal.」也许更简单明白！ " o+ o" p4 [$ _; t 8 E9 y7 t0 ~" u+ U0 O; Q0 _, o/ l6 u# J 2. 老外也主张不写噜苏或绚丽的字眼（flowery or wordy），句子应该越短越好，一句能用两个字，绝不多加一个。% v& j& U6 {6 D+ ]
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例如： 7 V4 T; h4 x9 r+ z! [) }! q 0 \7 e0 Q$ c) IAt this point in time, we should pull together for our goal. (现在我们应该为我们的目标团结一致）(如果说：Now, we should pull......更简单。因为 at this point in time = now)6 `& X# T6 }3 u7 ]
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Despite the fact that my English is not very good, I am not discouraged. （虽然我的英语不好，但我不灰心。) (如果说：Although my English is not...... 就更简短。因为despite the fact tha t= although = Though） & Y! G( I# Z7 R f- w" P$ ~& q; b! X$ M* o" m
I am of the opinion that Mr. Lee should resign from this position. (我想李先生应该辞职) (假如说：I think Mr. Lee should......不是更简单吗？因为I am of the opinion = I think) & Z" Q, S7 u9 e" p4 c2 O6 T- Y6 a6 C# A* F! F8 p+ l' C4 R
He quitted the job due to the fact that he was sick. (他由于生病而辞职) (若说：He quitted the job because he was sick. 更简单。因为 due to the fact that = because） / r4 q7 S- u/ E+ K! ~+ E7 ?- z# _ 0 R3 c! X' n- ? w/ f+ w" wIn the majority of cases,he likes to ride bike to the office.（他通常喜欢骑单车到办公室) (如果说：Usually, he likes to ride...... 更简单。因为 in the majority of cases = usually） 5 V$ y5 g' \, a. y! [; @9 l7 O 1 ?! C0 n( S' x$ nShe shows a preference for tea rather than coffee. (她喜欢茶而不是咖啡) (若说：She prefers tea rather......更简短清楚，因为 show a preference for = prefer); X, |: |8 J% T3 ^* u* Q' D7 ~+ W
7 m/ z: L1 n. H7 o) l* a. UI will bring the matter to the attention of Mr. Wang. (我要通知王先生)& ^6 K6 I6 V3 {- Z5 N
/ m; V* {- s( p如果只说：I will tell Mr. Wang (about the matter). 不是更简单吗？因为 bring the matter to the attention of = tell = inform) (句子最后面：「about the matter」可以省去); 同理，也要避免意义的重复或用字的多余 (redundant); 例如： 0 }/ O2 Y" A( ~8 b6 q( X a' k/ ]! F* ?+ F
The consensus（of opinion）is that we have to act right away.（大家认为我们必须立即行动）(of opinion 可以省去，因为 consensus 的意思，就是大家的意见。） 6 m6 j1 W' ~- h+ m- x0 b q4 _7 `1 ]8 F( E
The letter shows that the problem（continues to）remain unsolved.（他的信显示问题尚未解决）(continue to 是多余的字，因为 remain 已经有 continue 的含意。所以句子就成为：The letter shows that the problem remains unsolved.） $ g4 E# j5 |' c: c2 }5 z & ^* f) G( X. A/ M- p3 zHe has made his (final) conclusion in his speech.（他在演说里做出结论） (final 是多余的字，因为 conclusion 已经含有 final 的意思。） T2 H" _! U$ Y% `+ M
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He has had many years of (actual) experience in business。（他有多年经商的经验) (actual 也是多余的字，因为 experience 已有 actual 的意味） 7 l$ C2 o: v0 `# G# I5 o. h! C; Z* `* E
We assembled (together) all the parts for our radio.（我们装好收音机的零件）(因为 assemble 本身就有 together 的意思，所以 together 是多余的）' x& E' z" b- Y G) t. C7 `, s
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Enclosed (herewith ) please find the report of the meeting.（herewith 是多余的字，因为 enclosed 就有 herewith 的意思）(即：附上会议报告，请查收) # U9 O4 v! l- G8 a+ x2 C7 B/ k! B/ l8 Q1 S6 D9 m# J/ b
写到这里，想起一位深受美国人民爱戴，一向主张不写长句、不噜苏的美国已故参议员 Stephen Young，他每次受邀参加会议、演讲、宴会时，他的回信只有三个字「我会到」（I'll be there）......。也有人打趣的说：「讲演或写作的句子，就像穿迷你裙，愈短愈好。」（Like wearing mini-skirt, sentences in speech or writing should be the shorter, the better.） 7 c' x( {9 }/ f5 q: @& O2 Y . e! z- I; ^$ s8 d; L此外还有：in reference to = about;draw to close = end; at an early date = soon等。1 X Q( D2 }, [# P2 E5 J
C! J7 h/ o' b( l, I0 n J$ `例如：: u" r& A* R; j4 X+ X- |
" W, }7 C, _3 k' ~, zMankind are considered the smartest animals in the world。（人类是世上最聪明的动物）= Man is the smartest animal......。 (如果改为：Human beings are considered the smartest animals...... 就能包括男女。所以 mankind = man = human beings） (注意：mankind 后面动词要用多数，而 man 的后面动词，则用单数） X s/ u3 w% }! d- P 0 p _* F% I3 ` F0 }; \9 `Manpower seems not strong enough in developing our economy here. (发展这里的经济，似乎缺乏人力资源。）(如果说：Labor power seems not strong enough... 也就没有「男性主义」的感觉。可见 manpower = labor power = work force = human resources） " M7 g6 `, Y& @5 H# J+ B$ N, ^1 V( a$ T 4 E" X! ^# Y0 T5 eThis small company hired a cleaning woman yesterday.（这个小公司昨天请来一名清洁女工）(如果说：This small company hired an office cleaner...也就没有男女之分了）6 [- t: R5 T2 t2 @! f
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He (she) has been a committee chairman (chairwoman) since 1998. (自从1998年他就是委员会主席) (假如把chairman或chairwoman改为chairperson或chair，就没有男女之分。) (如指讨论会的主持人，也可称为 moderator 或 coordinator。) / }0 B g0 M4 [& z- k; ]4 o7 L) C7 E) E
Many businessmen (businesswomen) feel their jobs are very stressful.（许多商人觉得工作压力很大）(如果把 businessmen (businesswomen) 改为 business people 或 business executives 或 business managers 就可包括男女了）(凡是单数 man 或 woman，其多数都是 men 或 women。) ' b# Y+ O! ?3 [7 ^ s X- G( T, `3 {6 T, Q
Policemen (policewomen) should treat citizens with courtesy.（警察对人民应该有礼貌）(假如把 policemen 或 policewomen 改为 police officers 就可避免男女性别）$ U6 `# q _- _# Z' c; t
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Congressmen (congresswomen) should speak up for their constitutes. （国会议员应该为其选民说话）(constitute = voter) （我们也可以把 congressmen 或 congresswomen 改为 members of congress 或 congressional representatives）8 N0 E( Z! V2 ~. u
6 ^9 D9 O o; m) i5 Y5 }Stewardesses for international regions may get jet lag sometimes.（国际航线的空中小姐有时会有时差疲惫的现象）（如把 stewardess 改为 flight attendant，就能包括男女空中服务员。）8 p( A1 O: c' G, c
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同理，我们可以把 salesman 或 saleswoman 改为 salesperson；把 mailman 改为 mail carrier 或 postal worker；把 foreman 改为 supervisor 等等。 : D. y9 S" n; |& b1 D& J4 q3 t8 q" O$ B+ e9 b8 n
当然，一些带有种族偏见的字眼，甚至有侮辱的味道（insulting words 或 slur），也要尽量避免使用，以免闹出麻烦。例如：$ z# U/ s% |4 ?6 \, K' M+ R: U7 w
发表于 2014-1-8 22:50:21
