: D) K, g2 w. M( s0 }) u例如: ; ]/ q9 ?8 N5 t7 U; b( @% Q * J o) x7 w9 z8 y }& r, tMany people feel that moral education is the infrastructure of higher learning. (许多人认为道德教育是高等知识的基础) (如果用 foundation 或 basis 代替 infrastructure 就更明白)1 R, }1 [. Z w5 p0 t$ b
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Three hundred acres of land is the parameter of our university,s expansion (growth). (三百英亩的土地是本大学发展的限度) (如果用limit代替parameter,会更简单易懂。) : @' B& u4 I. Z" Q! B4 L1 c4 l( a6 w5 y- g, O6 y
This news has been disseminated all over the U.S. (这消息已散布到全美各地) (如果用spread取代disseminated,不更简单?) (动词时态是:spread, spread, spread)% V; C6 N, r' C% @" ^
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The president of this college is not diminutive in size. (这大学的校长个子不小) (假如用small代替diminutive,不更明白吗?) $ Q5 ?. u" W: ?4 v8 B6 p# ~- K( I0 P
I have to elucidate this document to my staff. (我要向我的员工解释这份文件) (如用explain代替elucidate,也许更明白。) % O, E+ E! A @, i) D6 U* n) S2 f# u/ b3 T
Mr. A will endeavor to be a physician. (A 先生想尝试当个医生) (如果用try代替endeavor,会更浅白。) (endeavour = endeavor) 6 N5 Y! j0 Y& d/ U) ^5 m2 M( X9 e) w; D- q. q3 E2 f* U7 X
We hope to visualize world peace in the future. (我们希望将来看到世界和平)(如果用see代替visualize,也许更简单!)# O, R' O7 v( L u/ Y2 p
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The charitable organization solicits for our annual donation. (慈善机构要求我们一年一度乐捐)(假如用 ask 代替 solicit,更浅白易懂。)(solicitation是名词) " b3 P3 ]# N, |. }9 M# ^' U+ Z9 E& _7 f3 a' X+ [
We don't know what may transpire when we have a new boss. (当新老板来后,我们不知会有什么发生。) (如果用happen代替transpire,也许更明白。), ?# y7 K$ L& p0 [3 u% b
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Please act as soon as possible on the aforementioned matter. (前面提过的事,请尽速办理。)(如果用 previous 代替古字 aforementioned 不是更明白?) ( B, K8 k5 E* F' s/ W( Z' C) o$ X6 S; Q, s8 L2 {4 `& v6 n' p$ q4 T
这就像美国大文豪马克吐温 Mark Twain 也曾说过:「我不愿在字典里找长字或难字,我绝不用『metropolis』这个字,因为我同样可以用『city』这个字来代替」。罗斯福总统为了强调美国政府不会遗忘那些穷人,在一篇讲词里用了这么一句:「We are endeavoring to construct a more inclusive society.」后来被人批评咬文嚼字,卖弄文笔。如果用浅白易懂的字眼写成:「We are going to make this country in which no one is left out.」或「We are trying to make everyone equal.」也许更简单明白! 0 X2 \$ y% O: }' Y( c3 w+ ^. P- g' s& P% k$ k) N4 @! X
0 L. [/ F* I6 e: x8 C" \) w 2. 老外也主张不写噜苏或绚丽的字眼(flowery or wordy),句子应该越短越好,一句能用两个字,绝不多加一个。4 B; b: c+ ?% m7 b& H) V$ v% F& K
* N: p( [9 z* r) D) G例如:1 E5 Y. M2 f S) Y3 p5 K+ X: A
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At this point in time, we should pull together for our goal. (现在我们应该为我们的目标团结一致)(如果说:Now, we should pull......更简单。因为 at this point in time = now)9 L( n4 R2 F7 P
, }0 _- r' r0 p5 h1 ]Despite the fact that my English is not very good, I am not discouraged. (虽然我的英语不好,但我不灰心。) (如果说:Although my English is not...... 就更简短。因为despite the fact tha t= although = Though) + P0 ~ _1 z3 s2 g( g: u F 1 ]7 m, ?7 K9 F$ X0 II am of the opinion that Mr. Lee should resign from this position. (我想李先生应该辞职) (假如说:I think Mr. Lee should......不是更简单吗?因为I am of the opinion = I think)+ t7 F, y9 q& Y4 z
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He quitted the job due to the fact that he was sick. (他由于生病而辞职) (若说:He quitted the job because he was sick. 更简单。因为 due to the fact that = because) F% l" ~* Q: M% q" |, ^9 K 1 y% K9 ?7 k! y- M6 m# D4 {In the majority of cases,he likes to ride bike to the office.(他通常喜欢骑单车到办公室) (如果说:Usually, he likes to ride...... 更简单。因为 in the majority of cases = usually) % ^6 @% A0 ^5 Y* V+ N$ _& T0 J) I9 [" x5 _7 k# b2 E8 Q' g
She shows a preference for tea rather than coffee. (她喜欢茶而不是咖啡) (若说:She prefers tea rather......更简短清楚,因为 show a preference for = prefer) 1 O$ n- y; L8 X8 e& {, n: ]: ^- Y) K, u/ a: w
I will bring the matter to the attention of Mr. Wang. (我要通知王先生) , y- U( X1 ~: l* C: f: z1 |8 H4 u8 \" U) q7 d e/ t0 e
如果只说:I will tell Mr. Wang (about the matter). 不是更简单吗?因为 bring the matter to the attention of = tell = inform) (句子最后面:「about the matter」可以省去); 同理,也要避免意义的重复或用字的多余 (redundant); 例如: 3 M6 [6 g% P1 t( r7 f: h9 g- O% q* H0 G' f1 z% X5 v' ?
The consensus(of opinion)is that we have to act right away.(大家认为我们必须立即行动)(of opinion 可以省去,因为 consensus 的意思,就是大家的意见。)- I1 n2 U0 z" U% g6 v# `
/ ?' x0 z0 M- U' ~The letter shows that the problem(continues to)remain unsolved.(他的信显示问题尚未解决)(continue to 是多余的字,因为 remain 已经有 continue 的含意。所以句子就成为:The letter shows that the problem remains unsolved.)3 s7 F. I3 G# c8 D* h2 G$ R! Q7 r
8 f4 c. O& @/ N1 `. sHe has made his (final) conclusion in his speech.(他在演说里做出结论) (final 是多余的字,因为 conclusion 已经含有 final 的意思。)' H( o* ^' D; }
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He has had many years of (actual) experience in business。(他有多年经商的经验) (actual 也是多余的字,因为 experience 已有 actual 的意味). c8 f$ L# ]( g& R6 d2 B0 F
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We assembled (together) all the parts for our radio.(我们装好收音机的零件)(因为 assemble 本身就有 together 的意思,所以 together 是多余的) # N% z5 r6 J% R: s( q' G! d2 i7 Y0 U% L/ a7 c; R( H7 w
Enclosed (herewith ) please find the report of the meeting.(herewith 是多余的字,因为 enclosed 就有 herewith 的意思)(即:附上会议报告,请查收) - ~/ p$ a( \1 t8 O) y M) G ; Q: Y* S5 g: e; L; q# T5 t, @写到这里,想起一位深受美国人民爱戴,一向主张不写长句、不噜苏的美国已故参议员 Stephen Young,他每次受邀参加会议、演讲、宴会时,他的回信只有三个字「我会到」(I'll be there)......。也有人打趣的说:「讲演或写作的句子,就像穿迷你裙,愈短愈好。」(Like wearing mini-skirt, sentences in speech or writing should be the shorter, the better.): P* ^+ b! T/ l* {( t( v
9 ~4 m6 h. a& P0 R$ R) j此外还有:in reference to = about;draw to close = end; at an early date = soon等。 2 z8 E+ @) w) M$ b; D* T0 K5 I: E3 w: R( q; a+ v- B
$ `0 \+ D3 C8 E; ?3.老外为了族群和谐相处,除不用歧视或偏见的字眼外,连男女性别,也要避免区别,以示「平等」。1 r9 |- P- ^, f$ A6 |
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Mankind are considered the smartest animals in the world。(人类是世上最聪明的动物)= Man is the smartest animal......。 (如果改为:Human beings are considered the smartest animals...... 就能包括男女。所以 mankind = man = human beings) (注意:mankind 后面动词要用多数,而 man 的后面动词,则用单数) 8 x/ `* c5 Z3 ]. \3 f$ o4 P. @" g- }; I) L- W/ ~. z' u
Manpower seems not strong enough in developing our economy here. (发展这里的经济,似乎缺乏人力资源。)(如果说:Labor power seems not strong enough... 也就没有「男性主义」的感觉。可见 manpower = labor power = work force = human resources)6 i: X3 i) J- |
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This small company hired a cleaning woman yesterday.(这个小公司昨天请来一名清洁女工)(如果说:This small company hired an office cleaner...也就没有男女之分了). ~2 t: }2 p& Y" f& @0 B
- z5 _+ v% ?4 P3 K' j3 u" r9 M L7 hHe (she) has been a committee chairman (chairwoman) since 1998. (自从1998年他就是委员会主席) (假如把chairman或chairwoman改为chairperson或chair,就没有男女之分。) (如指讨论会的主持人,也可称为 moderator 或 coordinator。) N( Q. c; O1 Z1 ~; O2 u) r1 k8 g1 A
) B9 d! |2 R+ V. r' v0 eMany businessmen (businesswomen) feel their jobs are very stressful.(许多商人觉得工作压力很大)(如果把 businessmen (businesswomen) 改为 business people 或 business executives 或 business managers 就可包括男女了)(凡是单数 man 或 woman,其多数都是 men 或 women。)" }% `: }) i" t+ _+ y4 f- M
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Policemen (policewomen) should treat citizens with courtesy.(警察对人民应该有礼貌)(假如把 policemen 或 policewomen 改为 police officers 就可避免男女性别) , b1 ?% `1 \5 r0 j% s ) [; f2 K5 P* v) {! F* J( l' _& KCongressmen (congresswomen) should speak up for their constitutes. (国会议员应该为其选民说话)(constitute = voter) (我们也可以把 congressmen 或 congresswomen 改为 members of congress 或 congressional representatives) % ?: L! E) Z2 m2 y+ K ( X9 V: D; w! |7 ^) M$ Y SStewardesses for international regions may get jet lag sometimes.(国际航线的空中小姐有时会有时差疲惫的现象)(如把 stewardess 改为 flight attendant,就能包括男女空中服务员。) , _: w. r; J+ j' {) Q- q& n! a8 b2 G
同理,我们可以把 salesman 或 saleswoman 改为 salesperson;把 mailman 改为 mail carrier 或 postal worker;把 foreman 改为 supervisor 等等。. W; T, `# V7 F8 ~* R; A