) N R* M5 e0 |, {9 @Many people feel that moral education is the infrastructure of higher learning. (许多人认为道德教育是高等知识的基础) (如果用 foundation 或 basis 代替 infrastructure 就更明白) , x* d) o" X, H. ^, A g, y9 u7 M' m
Three hundred acres of land is the parameter of our university，s expansion (growth). (三百英亩的土地是本大学发展的限度) (如果用limit代替parameter，会更简单易懂。)) Z% g* M/ E; M& V
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This news has been disseminated all over the U.S. (这消息已散布到全美各地) (如果用spread取代disseminated，不更简单？) (动词时态是：spread, spread, spread). \1 j& r5 x' Y+ h. { ^4 p7 ?
. D2 B( |! f/ `The president of this college is not diminutive in size. (这大学的校长个子不小) (假如用small代替diminutive，不更明白吗？) 4 y8 C! G" f/ Z4 M% s* |, S Y3 d5 B% y* b5 G2 p
I have to elucidate this document to my staff. (我要向我的员工解释这份文件) (如用explain代替elucidate，也许更明白。); m, V) T: `9 f: }6 W' C
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Mr. A will endeavor to be a physician. (A 先生想尝试当个医生) (如果用try代替endeavor，会更浅白。) (endeavour = endeavor) : L6 y9 l x/ q. q. M8 ?" V. } - [3 {; p. l8 z9 S: T* RWe hope to visualize world peace in the future. (我们希望将来看到世界和平)（如果用see代替visualize，也许更简单！）8 h, M% E8 J! |8 g! }! T
7 o9 T8 ]. i2 x7 c8 Y- V) I2 QThe charitable organization solicits for our annual donation. (慈善机构要求我们一年一度乐捐)（假如用 ask 代替 solicit，更浅白易懂。）(solicitation是名词)8 x1 \2 i6 b" s+ A5 I
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We don't know what may transpire when we have a new boss. (当新老板来后，我们不知会有什么发生。) (如果用happen代替transpire，也许更明白。)) r) T [9 p- y3 L! {
4 g" J; b8 }) B* ]4 U; P& PPlease act as soon as possible on the aforementioned matter. (前面提过的事，请尽速办理。）(如果用 previous 代替古字 aforementioned 不是更明白？） ( ?* d, D% U- r, I; u" n$ T( t( u, Y4 A5 s
这就像美国大文豪马克吐温 Mark Twain 也曾说过：「我不愿在字典里找长字或难字，我绝不用『metropolis』这个字，因为我同样可以用『city』这个字来代替」。罗斯福总统为了强调美国政府不会遗忘那些穷人，在一篇讲词里用了这么一句：「We are endeavoring to construct a more inclusive society.」后来被人批评咬文嚼字，卖弄文笔。如果用浅白易懂的字眼写成：「We are going to make this country in which no one is left out.」或「We are trying to make everyone equal.」也许更简单明白！ T7 J8 v/ ?4 q, w1 k6 c
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* H, n6 y6 N# Y1 ^3 i5 d7 i2 c4 s) Z2. 老外也主张不写噜苏或绚丽的字眼（flowery or wordy），句子应该越短越好，一句能用两个字，绝不多加一个。- ~3 a% E. U/ _& B
9 P! P( D7 y" C5 m) v3 f例如：1 W7 D6 Z0 K0 [; t, z a2 x/ p
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At this point in time, we should pull together for our goal. (现在我们应该为我们的目标团结一致）(如果说：Now, we should pull......更简单。因为 at this point in time = now) ( F% [/ T3 R/ r" \5 G 5 U9 S" T) H7 R, {Despite the fact that my English is not very good, I am not discouraged. （虽然我的英语不好，但我不灰心。) (如果说：Although my English is not...... 就更简短。因为despite the fact tha t= although = Though） # @. v1 X: x5 |: [! B6 O9 p8 z ) f" c. c2 i7 F* C3 yI am of the opinion that Mr. Lee should resign from this position. (我想李先生应该辞职) (假如说：I think Mr. Lee should......不是更简单吗？因为I am of the opinion = I think) ) L$ \# v( d1 ^% e, I4 u2 J& ?; t& P( s# A+ M% V4 |
He quitted the job due to the fact that he was sick. (他由于生病而辞职) (若说：He quitted the job because he was sick. 更简单。因为 due to the fact that = because）5 ^2 Y3 o- O8 I9 D6 M
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In the majority of cases,he likes to ride bike to the office.（他通常喜欢骑单车到办公室) (如果说：Usually, he likes to ride...... 更简单。因为 in the majority of cases = usually）: \ y% [& f: N; \9 k
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She shows a preference for tea rather than coffee. (她喜欢茶而不是咖啡) (若说：She prefers tea rather......更简短清楚，因为 show a preference for = prefer)- f4 f. M* V1 H, J
. t/ {9 m9 s: L6 N7 _, }I will bring the matter to the attention of Mr. Wang. (我要通知王先生)( r7 x7 D6 M9 D: u, r" G* i
' I: k9 h s* R' a7 [如果只说：I will tell Mr. Wang (about the matter). 不是更简单吗？因为 bring the matter to the attention of = tell = inform) (句子最后面：「about the matter」可以省去); 同理，也要避免意义的重复或用字的多余 (redundant); 例如：% O* }7 R k5 q3 d, P
/ Z7 m7 _- Q" R9 K' {The consensus（of opinion）is that we have to act right away.（大家认为我们必须立即行动）(of opinion 可以省去，因为 consensus 的意思，就是大家的意见。）- K) s+ k& g; y, ^+ d
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The letter shows that the problem（continues to）remain unsolved.（他的信显示问题尚未解决）(continue to 是多余的字，因为 remain 已经有 continue 的含意。所以句子就成为：The letter shows that the problem remains unsolved.）3 D9 ?2 t2 B) J9 a) c3 x( K
( ~5 K1 E4 Z2 g4 l) [: N* K3 b: n* oHe has made his (final) conclusion in his speech.（他在演说里做出结论） (final 是多余的字，因为 conclusion 已经含有 final 的意思。） / y0 r5 x M5 H9 n2 E9 g 7 Y1 ^# n% ?& U6 I6 f3 h, ^& K* H' nHe has had many years of (actual) experience in business。（他有多年经商的经验) (actual 也是多余的字，因为 experience 已有 actual 的意味）# E1 g- v. d/ N, I
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We assembled (together) all the parts for our radio.（我们装好收音机的零件）(因为 assemble 本身就有 together 的意思，所以 together 是多余的）) [ v) R' z+ d- W z
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Enclosed (herewith ) please find the report of the meeting.（herewith 是多余的字，因为 enclosed 就有 herewith 的意思）(即：附上会议报告，请查收)6 t! ?8 n2 l. {# g( Q
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写到这里，想起一位深受美国人民爱戴，一向主张不写长句、不噜苏的美国已故参议员 Stephen Young，他每次受邀参加会议、演讲、宴会时，他的回信只有三个字「我会到」（I'll be there）......。也有人打趣的说：「讲演或写作的句子，就像穿迷你裙，愈短愈好。」（Like wearing mini-skirt, sentences in speech or writing should be the shorter, the better.） & E9 b, u t$ U9 y& N: k3 ]8 Q' O6 @! S0 t r3 U R
此外还有：in reference to = about;draw to close = end; at an early date = soon等。 ! \! x& E! N6 {8 j3 `; i/ M+ z. s * X8 Z4 J" I1 r& c7 p( k + N5 n8 f4 s% T3.老外为了族群和谐相处，除不用歧视或偏见的字眼外，连男女性别，也要避免区别，以示「平等」。 + q+ [) _- K t( Q ) C) h% p, B/ x例如：$ P# P8 G# M; h9 c8 V( C! m: g
' O8 N, ^- r+ CMankind are considered the smartest animals in the world。（人类是世上最聪明的动物）= Man is the smartest animal......。 (如果改为：Human beings are considered the smartest animals...... 就能包括男女。所以 mankind = man = human beings） (注意：mankind 后面动词要用多数，而 man 的后面动词，则用单数） ! l+ J& o5 ]% X* _, W & h2 \! x0 M8 dManpower seems not strong enough in developing our economy here. (发展这里的经济，似乎缺乏人力资源。）(如果说：Labor power seems not strong enough... 也就没有「男性主义」的感觉。可见 manpower = labor power = work force = human resources） i) B/ j1 [6 g! W* l# x5 L% T1 [ : e- j6 L5 F# B: z9 E0 @; EThis small company hired a cleaning woman yesterday.（这个小公司昨天请来一名清洁女工）(如果说：This small company hired an office cleaner...也就没有男女之分了） 8 T) ~8 i+ s {2 l1 J6 k: g$ p# ` ]0 o( Y3 ]" y! ]
He (she) has been a committee chairman (chairwoman) since 1998. (自从1998年他就是委员会主席) (假如把chairman或chairwoman改为chairperson或chair，就没有男女之分。) (如指讨论会的主持人，也可称为 moderator 或 coordinator。) ; z2 \" u, X; o% k+ V6 {* v$ Y- Z7 F% k) W. P9 Z
Many businessmen (businesswomen) feel their jobs are very stressful.（许多商人觉得工作压力很大）(如果把 businessmen (businesswomen) 改为 business people 或 business executives 或 business managers 就可包括男女了）(凡是单数 man 或 woman，其多数都是 men 或 women。) # o u9 x) M& q1 E4 D) D+ A5 U$ I& _* z, c9 g, t$ j
Policemen (policewomen) should treat citizens with courtesy.（警察对人民应该有礼貌）(假如把 policemen 或 policewomen 改为 police officers 就可避免男女性别） ~2 l$ D" w8 J/ y+ U, V3 q- v4 Z; [/ g2 ?6 n
Congressmen (congresswomen) should speak up for their constitutes. （国会议员应该为其选民说话）(constitute = voter) （我们也可以把 congressmen 或 congresswomen 改为 members of congress 或 congressional representatives） # ?9 j& \. r" c) K $ {* A# Y! W# `: u4 d( W. KStewardesses for international regions may get jet lag sometimes.（国际航线的空中小姐有时会有时差疲惫的现象）（如把 stewardess 改为 flight attendant，就能包括男女空中服务员。） 7 [$ T8 {* t( e z- n4 Y2 V: f+ S* l' D# C U; T' v1 t
同理，我们可以把 salesman 或 saleswoman 改为 salesperson；把 mailman 改为 mail carrier 或 postal worker；把 foreman 改为 supervisor 等等。0 [9 }! s3 z& H* }
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当然，一些带有种族偏见的字眼，甚至有侮辱的味道（insulting words 或 slur），也要尽量避免使用，以免闹出麻烦。例如： ! a& J$ c& q. l) s7 m# |( @0 p( M& R8 c: L+ Y
对黑人不要用 Negro，更不能用 Nigger（用 Black 还可以），礼貌的说法是 Afro-American 或 African-American；& V4 Y( Z3 e! d7 y- |% ]* R
! \5 d- m' e7 `. J2 m- |+ ~对白人不要用 Honky（这是黑人骂白人的用字），正确用法是 Caucasian，或 white people；% g. }2 g* w9 c) h* e) a0 y
发表于 2014-1-8 22:50:21
